Monday, July 04, 2005



I got tagged with a meme by Sean a week or so ago. I put it off for a while, saying I was going to think about it. That didn't really help me come up with anything, so now I'm just gonna wing it.

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

- Not moving out of the house when my ex dumped me. We had just bought a house together and had been living there for about a month and he decided he just wanted to be roommates. I was pretty strapped financially and there was no way to sell the house without taking a huge loss, and he couldn't afford to buy me out. I convinced myself it would be the best thing financially to stay there. Big mistake. It took me way too long to get over him and move on with my life. I was a bit of a wreck for about a year, until I met that boy I'm still with today.

- Yelling at the guy who was giving me a polygraph for a security clearance for my job. There was a minor discrepancy in the paper work between this clearance and my last one. The powers-that-be accused me of lying and forced me to take the lie-detector test. I took the test, completely telling the absolute truth. At the end of the test, the guy asked me why I appeared to be so nervous and I proceeded to yell at him about how insulting the whole process was, how polygraphs were a complete waste of time, that the entire agency who required this test was full of worthless, arrogant a-holes....etc. Needless to say, I failed the test and got fired from my job. Turns out to be a blessing in disguise, as I love my job now. But now every time I need to fill out any kind of security paperwork I have to check the box that say yes, I have been denied a clearance in the past.

- Breaking up with my current BF about 6 months into our relationship. After the bad experience with the last bf (see above) I decided I wasn't going to compromise about anything. It was all going to be about me now, and I was determined not to get hurt again. So we were together, having a great time, but a few things weren't going my way. I decided that was enough. Change or I'm gone. He didn't change, so I left. We broke up for about 8 months and I was pretty miserable. Even worse, I totally crushed him. I can't believe how badly I had hurt him, and that made me feel even worse. All over something not-so-important. I eventually swallowed my pride and asked him to take me back. He did. That was about 8 years ago. We're happier than ever.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

Predictable, but I'll say the BF. I know he would do pretty much anything for me, and always has my best interests in mind. He knows me inside and out, and I totally value what he thinks. He knows when to push me, when to let me run wild, when to protect me, and when to let me fail on my own. He totally balances me out.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

Janis Joplin, Lester Bangs, John Waters, Bill Clinton, Lenny Bruce

I'd probably pick different people tomorrow.

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

- I'd have an insane amount of money. I know that sounds totally shallow, but it would enable me to do all kinds of things, like set my family up for life, give me unlimited music access, travel, etc.

- I'd find a cure for every health issue my sister is having, so she could enjoy life again. That's something that money doesn't seem to be able to help.

- That being gay would be a complete non-issue to everyone. Gay marriage would be accepted as being fine. The right-wing doesn't have any issues with us. No more gay-bashing, or even the threat of being harassed. Everyone's families are totally accepting. Schools aren't afraid to mention the word "homosexual" without being threatened with a lawsuit. Kids are brought up without even considering the notion that there's anything wrong with it. We could all just live our lives without hearing that our love is evil and wrong. (This might fall under the supernatural heading though.)

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Living in the same town as Sean, some of my answers are the same as his.


- We don't have a better Metro system. I love the Metro, but it's more of a commuter train than a means to get around town. You can't get everywhere and it closes way too early. You can't even go to a concert via Metro during the week, because it closes at something like 11:30pm.

- Better gay bars. They're just embarrassing to be in sometimes. Most of them are places I would never go, if they weren't filled with gay men. Sometimes even that's not enough. It's like you have to choose between being around gay people, or going somewhere cool. Life should be more fluid than that. I will say that this is starting to get better though.


- Georgetown. If you're under 18 or have never gone into a mall before, I guess it's ok. Otherwise, it's just over-priced stores, terrible traffic/parking, crappy bars and people with sh-tty attitudes. Smash is a great store. Other than that, stay away at all costs.

- Cabs. They'll rip you off 9 times out of 10. They make up their own fares. There are no meters. I've lived here my whole life and I'm still not sure how the zones work. Tourists are a goldmine for cabbies.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.

It didn't happen to me directly, but when my ex (see above) was in a car accident, it opened my eyes to a lot of things. I was still totally closeted. I hadn't met his family yet. He was in a really bad car accident up in PA. They didn't know if he would make it. He was unconscious for over a week, I think. The hospital wouldn't give me any info, because I wasn't a relative. I couldn't go to friends or family for support, because that would reveal that I was gay. I had nobody to turn to and I couldn't see him. He eventually came out of it and came home (that's the very abbreviated version of the story). But that's the event that made me come out. I had never felt so alone, helpless and scared in my life and I never wanted to go through that again. I had the basic "live life while you can" epiphany that changed the way I look at things. I take some things more seriously. I take some things less seriously. It definitely affected me though.

Too much information.

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